A love letter to… Confidence

Dear Confidence,

You’re ignorant and shy. You don’t like to be the centre of attention and you rarely take stride. Sometimes you let me down and disappear, showing me you’re never here to stay. Some days you make me brighter, happier and healthier. You’ve taught me that I cannot wholly rely on you to make me feel confident every day, but that I should rely on myself so that you belong within me.

This may be a love letter, but I sure do have a lot of complaints. Confidence, why can’t you let me accept myself as I am? Why do you let me think that people believe I’m too weird to be liked or that my weight is not acceptable. Confidence, why can’t you let me be in harmony with the spots on my face and my funny shaped daddy toes? I can’t trust you, confidence. Not always.

I may not be in sync with you as much as I’d like, but I hope that someday we can be on the same page. It’s one step at a time. Take things day by day. Taking the negatives one at a time and churning them into positives.

You’ve brought me down when I’ve needed you most and you’ve lifted me up when I thought I couldn’t believe in myself. Confidence, you bring out the life in me. You capture my best moments and push me to do things I never thought I could. One of those things is teaching.

When I first started tutoring, I didn’t think that I would be good enough to teach someone something that I was never perfect at. With time, I grew to be confident within my work. I know what I want now and you have shown me that I am capable. That is why I am going to become an English teacher. Confidence, you have shown me that I can be a better version of myself and that I can help people to better their education and their outlook. Confidence, you may let me down sometimes but I am grateful that I am now proud of myself.

I can teach people to have their own confidence, and there is no prouder feeling than knowing you have helped someone achieve something they thought was impossible. It’s a release, it’s a bond and it’s a lifelong memory. Confidence, you may not be perfect and neither am I, but you’ve stayed with me through my confusion of career choice. You helped me to understand that I want to be wise and I want people to look up to me, and that’s why I need you. Without confidence, I cannot teach. Without teaching, I have no confidence. They come as a pair.

I am stronger now than I was before. I used to cry on my bedroom floor because I didn’t know what I wanted out of life.  I didn’t know back then what I know now; I just need confidence in myself. I am going to be a teacher and a writer, even if people tell me I can’t. I have faith, I have hope and I have courage.

I have confidence. That’s all you need to make your worries disappear and your dreams come true.

Alice

 

You can find more from Alice over on her Twitter or her blog right here.

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